For example, a person with good health chooses daily to eat healthy food, exercise, and avoid things that would harm their bodies. The reverse could be said of an unhealthy person. Their poor state of health is the result of years of poor decisions regarding nutrition and exercise. There may be some exceptions, but in general, I agree with this premise. The problem is that these small things that are so easy to do, are also easy NOT to do. Its EASY to take a multivitamin everyday. Its also easy NOT to take a multivitamin everyday. It is EASY to take a walk in the morning. Its also easy NOT to take a walk in the morning. It is EASY to read a couple chapters in the Bible each day. Its also easy NOT to read a couple chapters in the Bible each day. You see where this leads?
Over time these choices have a cumulative effect. This concept can be applied to all areas of our lives. I am becoming more aware of the little things I am doing that lead to success, and the ones that will lead to failure.
About halfway into the book he addresses the subject of happiness. How many times have we thought "I will be happy when..." or "______ will make me happy." I can look back over my life and see it often. When you're fourteen, you think you will be happy when you're sixteen. When you're in high school, you think you will be happy when you are in college. When you're in college you think you will be happy when you graduate and get a job. When you are a young adult you think you will be happy when you get married. Then you think you will be happy when you have a baby, and when you get a house, and then when you have another baby, and then get a bigger house, or a new car, or if your husband helped out more around the house, or if... if...if.
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The book talks about the Science of Happiness. There is actually a discipline in psychology that studies happiness to determine what causes some people to be happy and not others. It is called positive psychology. According to the Science of Happiness, happiness is not determined by your circumstances as much as it is by your behavior. There are things you can do everyday to lead to a happier life. As I read it, it resonated as truth to me. I have always believed your attitude is a major factor to your happiness. There is a quote usually attributed to Abraham Lincoln, but I couldn't find a record of him actually saying it.
"People are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
I really believe there is a lot of truth in that simple statement. You get to choose whether you are happy or not. I've know people who have health and financial problems who are as happy as anyone I know. I also know people who have health and wealth who are negative and unhappy. Happiness has very little to do with your circumstances, and a whole lot to do with your attitude and behavior. I find this very encouraging. I don't always have control over my circumstances, but I DO have control over my attitude and behavior. At least I CAN control those things if I choose to.
I want to talk about several key principles in the book regarding happiness.
1. Happiness is created by doing some simple, easy things, every day.
Just like making the decision to exercise (or not) everyday has an effect on your health, other small decisions that we make everyday affect our happiness. The effect of these small choices is not evident immediately, but over time, they lead to greater satisfaction. It may take days, weeks, months, or even years to see the results of your behavior, but given enough time, results will come.
2. Success does not lead to happiness. its the other way around: more happiness leads to more success.
Research makes is very clear that happiness is not the result of having greater success, more money, and a better marriage, it PRECEDES it. When you are happy first, those things will naturally follow. I fully believe this to be true and for me, the best example is to look at Hollywood. So many of us think that if we were beautiful, talented, and rich, we would be happy. You don't have to be a genius to look at the folks out in Hollywood and determine that although they are beautiful, talented and rich many of them are far from happy. Even though they have what many of us in America THINK would make us happy, they aren't. Divorce and suicide rates are higher than they are in the general population. We even hear about stars who have to file bankruptcy even though they've made millions of dollars in their careers. Poor daily choices lead them down the same paths to unhappiness that many of the rest of us deal with. Happiness isn't the result of attaining all the goals we have set, but is something you can do right now, that LEADS to achieving those goals.
3. Elevated levels of happiness create elevated levels of health, performance, social involvement, marital fulfillment, financial and career success, and longevity.
When you are happy, you will automatically reach greater levels of success in all these areas. The book goes into greater detail, but it is easily observed when you look at the people around you. People who are happy naturally draw others to them and will be obvious choices for job promotions. They are the people you WANT to be around, so naturally they will have more friends than people who are negative. In a marriage, it is much easier to get along with a happy person than one that is miserable. It is also happy people who tend to be healthier. Many studies have shown the negative effects anger, anxiety, and sadness have on a person's physical health.
4. Greater happiness is key to making the slight edge work in your life.
4. Greater happiness is key to making the slight edge work in your life.
The book is about using slight edge principles to increase success in all areas of life, but they have determined that happiness is often a key ingredient to making the slight edge work. If you make efforts to increase your level of happiness, you will find it easier to follow the principles of the book to achieve greater success in all areas of life.
5. Create happy habits in your life to increase happiness.
This is the part that has challenged me the most. This is where it gets practical. We can start today, right now, to begin doing things every day that will lead to more happiness, which will lead to greater success. These habits aren't dramatic. In fact, they may seem mundane. They are the things we already KNOW we should be doing, but many of us aren't doing them CONSISTENTLY. That's the challenge. Do them EVERY day, even when it doesn't seem to matter. What's the big deal if I don't take my vitamin one day? It makes it easier to skip it the next day... and the next...
The book doesn't recommend trying to do everything at once, but to start with one thing, and do it for a couple of weeks. Once you get the hang of it, add another. I recommend making a list of new habits you want to implement, put them in order of importance and start with one or two. Once you are pretty comfortable with them in your routine, add one or two more. Some of the habits they suggest are:
1. Start a gratitude journal and write down three different things each day that you are thankful for. I agree this is a wonderful way train yourself to search for the positives. After you get through the obligatory family, house, job, etc... you will have to dig a little deeper to find three things per day.
2.Journal for two minutes a day about a positive experience you had that day writing down as many details as you can remember.
3. Do a random act of kindness each day. One easy way to do this is to send someone an email praising or thanking them for something they did.
4. Spend a few minutes meditating. Not something elaborate with ohms and all that, but just a few minutes to stop and relax. As a Christian, I suggest praying everyday. Connecting with our creator is a great way to get some perspective and get our day started out right.
5. Exercise fifteen minutes per day. This can be in the form of a walk, some yoga, or simple cardio. Over time this will really pay off.
6. Make more time to spend with friends
7. Practice savoring the moment.
8. Practice having a positive perspective.
9. Practice forgiveness.
10. Put more energy into cultivating meaningful relationships.
11. Engage in meaningful activities.
12. Practice giving.
13. Read ten pages of a good book daily.
My personal list will include some of these, but I'm also going to include the following.
14. Take at least ten minutes each day of FOCUSED attention on each of my children AND my husband. We spend a lot of time together, but I know all of my children would benefit from more one-on-one attention.
15. Drink more water. This may seem out of place on this list, but I know that I don't drink enough and would feel better physically if I drank more water, so for me, it makes sense to include it. If I feel better, I will enjoy each day more.
16. Take my supplements.
This lead me to read a ton of articles on Happy Habits and I found several more you might consider adding to your list. Some of the following will be on my list.
17. Take responsibility for your own actions
18. Let go of grudges (Similar to #9, but worth repeating)
19. PUT DOWN THE PHONE WHILE TALKING TO SOMEONE! Can I get an amen? I just stepped on my own toes.
20. Make efforts to avoid distractions. This can mean turning off notifications of your phone, or turning off your ringer when you're working. It can also mean simplify your life in general. This would look different for each individual, but YOU know the things that are holding you back.
21. Don't gossip.
22. Get up at the same time everyday. I suppose going to bed at the same time would be of similar value.
23. Eat well.
24. Develop self-control.
25. Daily prayer and Bible study.
Now, don't get all crazy and make a list of 100 things you are going to change, but start thinking about it. We all do things every day that are really moving us in the opposite direction that we want to go. Let's take some time and identify what those things are and.... STOP DOING THEM!
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This WILL lead to more happiness and more success in ALL areas of our lives.
Maybe you're really good at this in certain areas of your life, but not others. Simply adapt what you have learned in the areas you ARE successful in, to the areas you struggle in.
Now this post has mostly been a recap of what I am learning in the book The Slight Edge, but I want to add something of my own. We've mostly talked about what WE can do to make our lives better and we SHOULD be doing what we can, but ultimately, we aren't going to have happiness. or true JOY without a relationship with God. We are limited in what we can do on our own, but in Christ, we have the power to overcome the strongholds in our lives that hold us back. If you don't know where to start, ask Him to show you the areas in your life where you are sabotaging yourself. I'm not a person who believes if you are living your life right before God that everything will always be great and you won't have problems. I actually believe quite the opposite. If we are seeking Him and want to grow in our faith we WILL have trials. It is through difficulties that we learn and grow. I encourage you to do your part and let Him do His part.
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Thanks for reading my posts. I do hope you will find a few nuggets of wisdom that you can use to start making a few small changes that will reap great rewards in your life.
This is the part that has challenged me the most. This is where it gets practical. We can start today, right now, to begin doing things every day that will lead to more happiness, which will lead to greater success. These habits aren't dramatic. In fact, they may seem mundane. They are the things we already KNOW we should be doing, but many of us aren't doing them CONSISTENTLY. That's the challenge. Do them EVERY day, even when it doesn't seem to matter. What's the big deal if I don't take my vitamin one day? It makes it easier to skip it the next day... and the next...
The book doesn't recommend trying to do everything at once, but to start with one thing, and do it for a couple of weeks. Once you get the hang of it, add another. I recommend making a list of new habits you want to implement, put them in order of importance and start with one or two. Once you are pretty comfortable with them in your routine, add one or two more. Some of the habits they suggest are:
1. Start a gratitude journal and write down three different things each day that you are thankful for. I agree this is a wonderful way train yourself to search for the positives. After you get through the obligatory family, house, job, etc... you will have to dig a little deeper to find three things per day.
2.Journal for two minutes a day about a positive experience you had that day writing down as many details as you can remember.
3. Do a random act of kindness each day. One easy way to do this is to send someone an email praising or thanking them for something they did.
4. Spend a few minutes meditating. Not something elaborate with ohms and all that, but just a few minutes to stop and relax. As a Christian, I suggest praying everyday. Connecting with our creator is a great way to get some perspective and get our day started out right.
5. Exercise fifteen minutes per day. This can be in the form of a walk, some yoga, or simple cardio. Over time this will really pay off.
6. Make more time to spend with friends
7. Practice savoring the moment.
8. Practice having a positive perspective.
9. Practice forgiveness.
10. Put more energy into cultivating meaningful relationships.
11. Engage in meaningful activities.
12. Practice giving.
13. Read ten pages of a good book daily.
My personal list will include some of these, but I'm also going to include the following.
14. Take at least ten minutes each day of FOCUSED attention on each of my children AND my husband. We spend a lot of time together, but I know all of my children would benefit from more one-on-one attention.
15. Drink more water. This may seem out of place on this list, but I know that I don't drink enough and would feel better physically if I drank more water, so for me, it makes sense to include it. If I feel better, I will enjoy each day more.
16. Take my supplements.
This lead me to read a ton of articles on Happy Habits and I found several more you might consider adding to your list. Some of the following will be on my list.
17. Take responsibility for your own actions
18. Let go of grudges (Similar to #9, but worth repeating)
19. PUT DOWN THE PHONE WHILE TALKING TO SOMEONE! Can I get an amen? I just stepped on my own toes.
20. Make efforts to avoid distractions. This can mean turning off notifications of your phone, or turning off your ringer when you're working. It can also mean simplify your life in general. This would look different for each individual, but YOU know the things that are holding you back.
21. Don't gossip.
22. Get up at the same time everyday. I suppose going to bed at the same time would be of similar value.
23. Eat well.
24. Develop self-control.
25. Daily prayer and Bible study.
Now, don't get all crazy and make a list of 100 things you are going to change, but start thinking about it. We all do things every day that are really moving us in the opposite direction that we want to go. Let's take some time and identify what those things are and.... STOP DOING THEM!
This WILL lead to more happiness and more success in ALL areas of our lives.
Maybe you're really good at this in certain areas of your life, but not others. Simply adapt what you have learned in the areas you ARE successful in, to the areas you struggle in.
Now this post has mostly been a recap of what I am learning in the book The Slight Edge, but I want to add something of my own. We've mostly talked about what WE can do to make our lives better and we SHOULD be doing what we can, but ultimately, we aren't going to have happiness. or true JOY without a relationship with God. We are limited in what we can do on our own, but in Christ, we have the power to overcome the strongholds in our lives that hold us back. If you don't know where to start, ask Him to show you the areas in your life where you are sabotaging yourself. I'm not a person who believes if you are living your life right before God that everything will always be great and you won't have problems. I actually believe quite the opposite. If we are seeking Him and want to grow in our faith we WILL have trials. It is through difficulties that we learn and grow. I encourage you to do your part and let Him do His part.
Thanks for reading my posts. I do hope you will find a few nuggets of wisdom that you can use to start making a few small changes that will reap great rewards in your life.
Kristy
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